Prayers of an Emotionally Abused Woman

She prays for sweet freedom every day.

When he hurls stones,

she deflects them with silence.

When he soaks her in his poison,

she prays it will not seep into her soul...

for she knows she is better than this.

She gives until she is spent.

She loves until she is depleted.

She used to sing like an angel,

but her voice has been stilled.

She used to laugh with abandon,

but she is scared to feel joy,

for it is so very fleeting.

She cringes at the sound of his coming.

Tears fill her eyes,

for she knows that no matter how she tries,

she will not be good enough

or pretty enough

or smart enough

for the one who thinks he is perfect.

She puts up her invisible wall,

and he wonders why.

She cries rivers of tears,

and he steps over them,

afraid of getting his feet wet.

Sometimes she prays

for his demise,

and at the same time

prays for her soul,

lost in wicked imaginings.

Sometimes she prays

to disappear.

Finally she would be free.